• Journal

    Freewrite #2: Irrational, Crazy, Beautiful Life

    by  • October 9, 2011 • Journal • 2 Comments

    I’m so fucking bored with the trajectory I’ve placed myself on! It started early in life, and it just kept on until, before I realized it, I was here, and I was doomed to be here. But if I’m charitable toward myself, I’ll accept that it happened before me and I am just the far off ripple from a drop of water long ago into this ocean of discontent.

    But why blame anyone? The truth is, it’s the causal framework through which we function that determines the path we’re on. But we can’t take this truth for truth. Because if we do, then we lose the ability to blame, or give credit, and characters like Gandhi and Hitler are no different but their place in the history of all.

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    No Man At All But Abstraction

    by  • October 8, 2011 • Journal • 2 Comments

    “What an absent-minded wreck.” The students giggled together as Morrison stumbled across the cobblestone path. It was early in the morning and the professor was headed to his Monday section, sacrificing his grace to the broken slabs through untied laces and worn out wing-tips.

    The professor wasn’t absent of his own mind, but of the world. He was an intellectual miser, a serial collector of thoughts and ideas that furnished his mind until it became his home. As a child, Morrison was fascinated with the world around him, with god and existence. He was a rare sort of child, one of those who love knowledge and take it like candy from strangers who don’t have their best interests in mind. Such children follow their hearts off that cliff over which dangles baiting Truth.

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    Garrison

    by  • September 28, 2011 • Journal, Poetry • 4 Comments

    The abortion I am; unfulfilled,
    unused and through this left
    useless unless used up
    my family’s extended for dying
    and leaving me behind
    to bear the palls of men worth more
    them salty & me saccharine
    not still civil but still not Marine
    somewhere between
    stillborn and being
    but still being thanked?
    for being

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    Freewrite #1

    by  • August 27, 2011 • Journal • 0 Comments

    It’s black outside
    pitched against the night
    a slow motion city of wandering drunks and me
    but I as the safe voyeur of a narrow window
    as the safe isolation of a fourth floor
    as the safe isolation of a bottle
    keeps me from wandering
    No one awake at this hour but drunks and me
    and I slow stumble to that place
    so cold in this hot August humid
    and it sits on my shoulders so heavy but
    the storm’s coming and I’m ready,
    alone and drunk; the lights go out but mine and
    my lights won’t go out because I’m ready
    bring that goddamn storm to me &
    I’ll wrestle it,
    alone &
    drunk &
    safe &
    ready for it

    & nothing else.

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    Lord, I’m Discouraged

    by  • April 9, 2011 • Journal • 5 Comments

    Having just arrived at the heels of adulthood, I found myself really wanting God. At first I faked faith, and it was convenient in the military for me to lie about having been saved for the sake of getting in good with my evangelist Christian superiors. I made up a story of salvation, one wherein [...]

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    “Once faith is shaken”: Success within and without the modern American ghetto

    by  • March 1, 2011 • Journal, Politics • 0 Comments

    It’s midday in Carol City, a squalid inner-city neighborhood in Miami, Florida. The school bell rings and a crowd of children push and shove each other out the entrance doors of the neighborhood middle school — a small, windowless blue-gray building, overwhelmed by the tiny classroom portables that clutter its surrounding crab grass fields. The [...]

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